Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize