I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize