Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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