You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Found the puke drawer
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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