so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize