I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My balls are so social today.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
