2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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