god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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