Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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