i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
