Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and she was petting her beer can
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
