yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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