I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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