There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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