I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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