this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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