i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
