I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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