you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
