And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
