After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
