I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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