I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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