Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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