So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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