its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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