Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
