if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize