I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
