Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
