I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
