Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
