Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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