now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
