You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
that may or may not have been my penis.
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