I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
