One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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