Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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