He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
