so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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