i need an iv and a liver transplant
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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