Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
