we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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