Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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