Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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