I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
