hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
