It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
