You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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