i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
