Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize