I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
