There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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