I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
