Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
