So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
