omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
