I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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