guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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