WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
