Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
