I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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