Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
