He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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