i would punch a child for taco bell
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
