Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
where am i from again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
