You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
