i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My pussy is not your playground.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
