Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
