Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize