Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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