is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
