I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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