I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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