He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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