He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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