Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize