using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
