I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
